I'd taken a late night delivery job just a few weeks prior. Physically demanding. Even kind of dangerous. Apart from the difficult hours, I'd been given counterfeit money from customers. Police raided our shop like swat commandos due to false alarms. Insulting work ethics and insults from my boss. And more. The brutal cold night of winter was taking its toll on me and my vehicle. But I needed cash. I had to take responsibility for the financial disaster that was my first feature film. I'll spare you the details of my herculean efforts to complete such a thing with no money and then fail in finding an agent or a distribution partner to help me sell it. In fact, the film shouldn't have even been made at all. Perhaps its a testament to my strength of will. Or perhaps its insanity. Hollywood pro turned pizza guy. Even worse, college professor turned pizza guy. Can you imagine the humiliation? Showing up to deliver a pizza to your former students? Talk about death of the ego. Then there was the schedule. Working from 6pm to 5am; six days a week. Mopping floors, doing dishes, and grabbing as many runs as I could just to make ends meet. It was barbaric.

So here I was, asleep in my bed on the early morning of Jan 27, 2006. I couldn't sleep. So, I got up and put on a meditation tape I'd been using in iTunes. John Edward's "How to Develop Your Psychic Powers". I've been a fan of his for years and loved his television show, "Crossing Over". In my spare time, I'd been "led" to certain psychic and spiritual teachings. People like M. Scott Peck. John Edward. And Deepak Chopra. Learning about the chakras, meditation, and other interesting tools. More recently, on Christmas Eve 2005 I felt led to purchase some Pagan books on money magic and love magic. A strong desire to reject the Christian doctrine which I'd been raised with and embrace an even more ancient perspective on truth. In fact,  it was certain Christian teaching that had encouraged me to get myself into this mess in the first place.

But on this night, I just needed something to help me relax and get to sleep. 

So I put on John's tape. The very first meditation that helps you relax with pranic breathing and tensing and relaxing each muscle group. My body became very relaxed and It wasn't long before I drifted off to sleep. But I'd forgot to turn off the tape. It kept playing from across the room while I slept. I'm not sure what time it was, but at one point (maybe 30 minutes later) the sound of the meditation tape gently woke me.  I wish I'd turned it off sooner. I was so utterly exhausted. The thought of having to get up out of bed to turn off the tape really ticked me off. I didn't want to do it, but i needed peace and quiet in order to get to sleep.

Then I noticed something unusual. I discovered I COULDN'T move my body. It was far too deeply relaxed to fool with. So with every ounce of strength I could muster, I sat up in bed, even sensed myself walking around the corner of my bed... and I realized something very strange... I couldn't SEE anything. How is that I can be out of bed and not see? As I scanned my body, I realized I was still lying in bed. I hadn't moved PHYSICALLY. But somehow, I had MOVED. Then I could feel these waves of movement all over my body. The sensations were strong. Energy sensations running throughout my whole body. Much like when you're in an elevator, only... I was in control of the elevator. Moving up and down and sideways. How can I be lying in bed, but moving around at the same time? Something really wierd was happening. The thought came to me... "I wonder if I could turn off my computer with my psychic abilities, just like Luke Skywalker and wish it off? or... I wonder if i can do that thing people talk about called Astral Projection?" I'd set the intention to go over to the computer so I could turn it off and get to sleep.  After bouncing the energy through my chakras I focused my will, my energy, on going up and out. I had no fear. No ego. A total nonchalant attitude. I didnt' care if I died. I mean, why not just go ahead and die. Everything I've ever tried to do had ruined my life. And I certainly hadn't had the best of luck in my love life. I wanted out.

Within seconds, I felt the energy surge upwards and could SEE!  Floating in my room above my bed, just like an astronaught. Unbelievable! It felt so freeing. So amazing. I kept affirming how important it was to remember this experience. I've got to remember this, I said to myself. I looked across the room and saw my computer. I could still hear the sound of John's voice playing in the meditation tape. I wanted to go over there, so I thought really hard... and I sorta "ticked" across the room very slowly. Gosh, it took a lot of thought to do this. A lot of "thinking" effort just to move. And here I was, floating on my stomach in front of the screen. I could see the power button that turns off the entire unit, nestled on the lower right side of the display. 

I reached out with my hand to press it, and that's when I saw "my hand". Only it wasn't like a flesh and blood hand. It was an "energy" hand. Fingers, a thumb, a palm, a forearm... yes. But it shimmered with a faint, transparent, golden etheric energetic look. So faint, I almost didn't even see it. It moved very slowly compared to a physical hand. And as I reach out with it to touch the power button in hopes of shutting off my machine, my index finger... passed right through the console. It was as if I had become a "ghost" in the real world. 

I remember thinking "what's the point of this when you die, you can't grab anything? Matter isn't solid anymore? No gravity? That means there is no true up or down!" My mind had a hard time getting around this and then the thought came to me... "Am I dead?!" In response to that thought, came an answer...  I could immediately hear in my mind's voice the sound of breathing. My breathing. It was as if I was still connected to my body. "Oh, I get it... " I said to myself. I'm not dead at all, my body's just sleeping over there on the bed and I'm over "here" floating in front of the computer. 

I decided to turn around and get back in my body because I wasn't sure how long I could stay out. If I stay out too long will it kill me? I needed to take the time to learn about this experience and in time, I will take another step.

So, I turned and drifted back towards my body. I could see me sleeping on the bed. Funny... I didn't like the man I saw sleeping there. Repulsive physical form. But I zoomed into my shoulders and slipped back in anyway, as easy as putting on a coat. I gently began moving my body, which was heavier than lead. God, it felt so heavy. I could barely move it. After a few moments of being back in the physical, I actually managed to get up and turn off the tape before  going back to sleep.

The next morning, I set out on a relentless quest to learn more about what happened to me. What it safe? Could I do it again? And why would I want to? Was something wrong with me? Who could I talk to about this without them thinking I'm a wack job?  And if I can exist outside my physical body as a conscious being, then surely there must be others? Even other beings perhaps?

My fear of death quickly began to subside and my curiosity began to explode. A new way of seeing things and a new kind of life had presented itself.

I do some googling around online and my intuition is led to a few new teachers: Robert Bruce, an Austrailian mystic who has been having these experiences since childhood. Sincere, personable, and knowledgeable. When I have the chance I plan on picking up a copy of his book Astral Dynamics. Another group of Austrailians in a gnostic group that teach it online for free. I sign up for the class even though its not until April. All my research seems to indicate thus far this is a natural process that occurs to all of us when we sleep, only we don't remember it. Nothing dangerous at all. Only the fears we take with us.

 I'm still rather overwhelmed by all this. And yet... nothing physically wrong with me. More googling. I need to know everything is ok. I need some form of spiritual comfort from a higher source. I stumble onto a couple of wonderful new teachers: Joan Borysenko and Doreen Virtue. Their material and podcasts give me great comfort and knowledge! I opt to purchase Joan's audio book, Invocation of the Angels. And Doreen is just a sweetheart. Both are Part of an organization called Hayhouse Radio. Hey, this is the same group that published John Edward's tape! I feel very much at home with these teachings and principles.